When a tree falls alone in a quiet forest, does it make any noise when it blocks the driveway?

Paying the price for getting old. Didn’t wake up on this Sunday morning until after 11 a.m. after going to bed at my normal 2 a.m. As a rule, I don’t sleep for nine hours. Four-to-five is normal.

Lower legs, knees and back hurt like hell. Probably because I wrestled with a downed tree on Saturday on what I thought would be a short run into town to pick up some groceries.

The small tree probably fell on Wednesday, Thursday or Friday, covered with ice. I hadn’t ventured out on those days. Celebrated my 73rd birthday inside, warm and cozy inside.

The tree wasn’t that big, so I put our Jeep Liberty in “park,” set the parking brake on the steep, and weather-worn driveway and tried to pull it around to clear the driveway. However, the other along the driveway blocked pulling it down and the tree was still attached to the trunk with a large sliver of bark and wood, so I pulled out the tow strap to try and pull it loose.

I pulled and tugged what was little more than a sapling, but it was more resilient than me.

After several tries with the Liberty in both regular four-wheel and the “low setting” the tree would not pull loose from its stump. Nope. It would not tear loose, the four wheels on the Jeep just spun in the driveway gravel.

Backed up the driveway to the garage. Chain saw out of commission. Haven’t used it in several years. Axe is somewhere in the not-so-well organized garage, so I gave up for the day and drove down the yard and onto the driveway below the fallen tree, muttering words that should not be printed here.

Getting out of the SUV at Food Lion, I felt pain in my lower back and knees. Oh, hell. Hobbled through the aisles, picking up the necessary foods, drive back home, put away the groceries and decided to leave the tree along, figuring some Tramadol and Tylenol 8-hour arthritis pills, along with a good night’s rest, would take care of any muscle strain.

Wrong, again. A hot shower helped a little and have a fresh supply of Tramadol and Tylenol in me to face the day, but I am waiting to let the pain ease before finding the axe and finish removing the tree from the stump and clear the driveway.

Or may wait until Monday. The weather is supposed to be warmer and my sore muscles need time to loosen up…if they every do.

Whoever called this the “golden age” had a sick sense of humor.

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